you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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