it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize