YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
