May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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