DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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