i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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