The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
