yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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