the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
