is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
