Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
