I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
