it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
