i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
