no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
