i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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