guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
