Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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