you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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