Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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