Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
