Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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