i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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