I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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