what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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