? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
