when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
