I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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