get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
