Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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