my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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