Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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