I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize