Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
