i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
