at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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