Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
