I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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