Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
