I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
