I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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