i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
