He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
