I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
