a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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