I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Farmville is her only friend.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
