Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
