I think I died a long time ago.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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