The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize