so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
