There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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