Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
