Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
