Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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