Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize