dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
