I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
