I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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