So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
