As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
