Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
