WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
