the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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