i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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